My cousin living in Austria came down for holidays and to renew his IC to the new MyKard. I was driving them after dinner and we needed to kill 1 hour. He had a friend from Ipoh with us and I thought it would be a nice time to show them the underground scenes of Penang. A tour you won’t get from any tourguide.

Driving along the coastline, I brought them through Little India then cutting beside the Goddess of Mercy Temple. I pointed out the alcohol joint which serves beer and cheap liquor. The houses along Stewart Lane are all pre war buildings. Some of the houses on Love Lane were turned into hostels and drinking hangouts for backpackers. Several old Chinese clan clubhouses were still visible with members playing mahjong under a single light bulb.

As we turned into Leith Street, I slowed down and let them have a closer view of several ladyboys and pointed out 2 local brothels. They seem to be enjoying the tour so far.

Along Chulia Street, I explained to them the culture which evolved after scores of backpackers invade this street and turned the shophouses here into bed & breakfast, cybercafes, travel agencies, call shops, car/bike rentals, money changers and many more.

I criss crossed and reached Armenian Street showing them the Thieves Market. Peddlers display their warez on the street. Chances are high you might find the pair of shoes you lost 7 years ago.

I figured they had to experience one of the jettys and their lifestyle so it’s best for them to experience it on foot. I parked the car and gave them instructions to follow me closely and to be as quiet as possible. We walked right into Tan Jetty and explored the whole length. When we got to the car, they were both glad we went down to take a look. They’ve never seen something like this. I told them that there’s a lot of underground activity going on over there and the police always do raids. There are cases of people jumping into the sea to escape from the police.

Next we headed to Penang’s infamous Lorong Garu. I parked the car and instructed them not to talk to anyone and follow me closely. We crossed the road and was greeted by a man selling sexual warez on the street. After some eying, I lead them into the backlane to encounter Penang’s darkest red light district. I could see a man on a motorbike shouting at another man in the backlane. I decided not to risk going into the lane. We headed back to the car and turn around the other end of the backlane.

That lane contained old almost retired prostitutes looking for a quick buck. These are F class hookers. The last stage of hookerism. After this stage, you have to retire.

On the right side of the road is a lane for ladyboys or transvestites. We only saw one in the alley. The rest are probably occupied or something.

I zoomed into the main road and the tour was over.