If you’re not from Penang and plan to drive here, this post should help you sort things out.

Driving in Penang is not a task to be reckoned with. Penang drivers tend to swerve left and right as they like. Driving enemy number 1 here are the motorcycles. Here are a few points you should check to survive a casual drive around town.

Properly adjusted side and rear view mirrors
Mirrors gives you extra 2-3 pairs of eyes. No matter how close any vehicle may seem in your mirror, you are still in front Just be careful of the blind spot usually when vehicles are close to either side back portion of your car. It’s wiser to use your mirrors than the turning signal. Penangites couldn’t care less about signals … it’s the whole car that makes a bold statement.

Know your front
You need to have a good estimation of the front of your car. As long as your front is ahead of any vehicle, you have the ace, or should I say a joker? Use your advantage to swerve left and right as you like. This tip is also true when you’re stuck in a traffic jam and trying to wriggle your way around each lane.

Guts bigger than the lorry next to you
When a larger vehicle tries to cut into your lane, stand your ground. Just because they’re larger doesn’t mean they can bully the smaller vehicles. Just keep straight and ahead. As long as your front is ahead, they can never overtake you.

Never show the finger
If someone tries to be funny, never show your finger. Chances are high that you will definitely cause a bigger traffic jam and end up somewhere near the hospital. It’s all good fun when you’re in the car but it gets ugly when you get out of the car when you’re not supposed to.

Airbags that work well
Make sure you have all the necessary safety features in your car to keep you alive. If any of the tips above don’t work, just make sure you don’t die. Help will definitely arrive in less than 3 minutes. Faster if you drive an expensive car. Tow truck operators have eyes sharper than a hawk and ears bigger than Frodo’s.

* I claim no responsibility for any injuries or deaths you may cause after reading this.